As if I haven’t had enough to do lately. Today is the day I am moving into a new place. I actually can’t wait…to be done with it all and be settled. The new place is going to be sweet though. Of course, over the weekend, I’ve had a ton of issues with the stoma and I basically can’t lift anything for the next four days. I’ve pretty much just had to lay flat on my back for the last few days. But, that’s right, in four days I have surgery and get this dang ostomy reversed (*does a little dance*)!
Everyone keeps asking me if I’m scared for surgery. Um, yes! I’m only human. Did you not hear what they are going to do to me? It’ll make the Joker’s mouth scars look cute by comparison. It definitely won’t be fun. Although, I can’t wait to get this freakin’ alien tumor out of me. However, I still have a very positive outlook and think that I will recover quickly and be back to being awesome in a relatively short amount of time. But, let’s be honest, it’s going to be a pretty awful first week, a terrible second week, and a less than delightful third week. Then, hopefully I will be back to a somewhat normal state and at least be able to walk normally, and get out of bed on my own.
I have a serious deadline though that I need to meet. Mark your calendars for April 23rd folks. I’ll let you know why tomorrow. Fun things are planned. Like, the best things.
Oh! Before I forget, I finally had a PET scan done on Friday. And, I got the results. Drum roll please…no metastatic disease! What does that mean? Basically, that cancer is afraid of me because I’m awesome and it decided it better stay where it’s at in my colon, which was about the coolest news I’ve gotten throughout this entire process. Also, some lymph nodes were weakly active in the scan, which is also better than they originally thought. They think that the lymph nodes might have been out of whack, in the beginning, more so because of the initial infection instead of the actual cancer. So, I’m not a walking dead man! Fist bump. Hopefully that means that come August or so, I will have NO EXISTING DISEASE. Take that, cancer.
If you didn’t get a chance to read the last blog (shame on you), I will be in St. Louis for the surgery and stay in the hospital up there for four or five days. My guess is I won’t want a ton of visitors the first few days, except for a glorious few of you that live in St. Louis and I haven’t seen in way too long. Seriously, I’m going to be as helpless as an infant for a while. Accordingly, I think I would rather avoid people seeing me that way. Pride is a fickle little dude. Maybe I’m being ridiculous, but I don’t really care.
Anyway, I’m hoping to be back in Columbia, and hanging out in my rented hospital bed, which I plan on placing in the middle of my new living room, on Tuesday or, possibly, Wednesday. If anyone wants to stop by and say hi at that time, I’ll be more than happy to entertain you with incoherent narcotic related babble. Who wouldn’t want to witness that?
FYI, sushi rolls will be used as currency for admittance. Kidding. Sort of. A little bit. Maybe. Maybe not. I’m not. Ok, fine, it’s negotiable. Stop looking at me like that. Ugh.
Moving on, once I get through this recovery, I get the coolest prize ever. I get to do 7 more chemo treatments! All summer long, baby! Try not to be too impressed with my sexy chemo pump, I know it’s irresistible. But, I have to believe that having the tumor out of me will only allow me to handle the chemo even better. And, it wasn’t even really an issue before. Plus, it will be warm out. So, hopefully the cold sensitivity side effects will be a non-issue. (I will not be losing my luscious locks. Hair loss is not a side effect of the chemo I’m receiving)
I’ve been kicking around the idea of doing a super bowl-type betting structure to see when I can get back to 200 lbs. Hashtag muscles. I like a good challenge. And motivation is always good to have.
Disclaimer: I don’t need your sympathy. I’ll be just fine. I’m even going to attempt not to complain. Nonetheless, I do need witty banter for textual entertainment. You won’t hurt my feelings. I can give as well as I get. Actually, better. I promise.