Mind. Blown. (13)

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Dudes and Dudettes,

WOW. Most of you know that I’m not really one to ever be caught speechless, but I am definitely struggling with what to say after yesterday. I am completely blown away by all of the love and support I have received, new people I got to talk to, friends I made, and success stories I got to hear. Keep them coming!! You guys are all rock stars in my book, and I am so excited and lucky to call each and every one of you all friends.

If you read through the blog, then you know that I’ve known what was going on for quite some time now. I toyed with the idea of making it public knowledge or trying to sneak by, under the radar, for the better part of two months. I feel as though I am definitely better at listening to other people’s feelings than I am at expressing mine. Yes, I do actually have them…sparingly. Also, having a long Christmas Break made it fairly easy to keep things under wraps and gave me much needed processing time.

I confided in my family and some close friends, and I’m really glad I had that time to think about things. There’s a sort of mental mosh pit that goes on in your head for a while after they throw damn dirty “C word” at you. I needed the time to sort out what was going on, how I was feeling, and what the treatment plan was going to be.

It was tough; I literally got bad news at every turn during the process. I was hoping that I just had some sort of stomach infection at the beginning, I didn’t. I was hoping they would find nothing but the abscess on the colonoscopy, they didn’t. I was hoping they caught it early and it was a low stage, it wasn’t. I was hoping they would remove the tumor over break so I had time to start the inevitable long healing process, they didn’t. But hey, the first round of chemo went well! Silver linings make the world go `round, ladies and gentleman.

Anyway, I actually decided I was going to build a website and blog about my experience and share EVERYTHING that was happening about 10 days ago. I had ZERO idea about how to build a website. Joke is on me, I actually Googled “how to build a website.” I’m not sure the decision was even a conscious decision, if that makes sense. I think it turned out pretty sweet though. Learning new stuff is cool, kids! I just felt like it was something that I had to do. I also wanted to make a point not to leave anything out. I felt like that was cheating in some way. So, whether you folks like some parts better than others or not, it’s all out there.

That being said, please be patient with me on the website and social media stuff. I’ve always been pretty private when it comes to social media so I’m learning as I go. I know the Instagram doesn’t have any posts yet, but it will soon. I have lots of pictures I’m going to add here soon. This ordeal has made me realize I’m terrible at documenting things with a camera though. I’m working on it! If you guys have any suggestions or notice any issues with the site, please let me know.

I went and watched The Revenant tonight. Give Leo an Oscar already! One of the main themes/quotes of the movie really stuck with me (don’t worry, it’s not a spoiler). It reads “The wind cannot defeat a tree with strong roots.” Cancer can blow as hard as it damn well pleases, but I am not going anywhere because I have all of you guys keeping me strong and grounded. It’s a perfect way to describe the way I feel about this fickle sickness.

Stay tuned for how day 2 of chemo went. It’ll be up later today.

3 thoughts on “Mind. Blown. (13)

  1. Keep keepin on!! One of friends shared your story, being a cancer survivor… It was very inspirational.. You are a fighter.. Wish I had that strength when I was going through treatment! Praying for you.. Hope your next treatment isn’t to bad., drink lots of water!! 🙂 you got this!

  2. Hi Zack, you obviously have an army of warriors working for you so stay strong! And thank you for sharing your story. You are already inspiring others in many ways.

  3. My friend Grace shared the link to your blog. I just read it all and I can tell you have the right attitude. My boyfriend has had a lot of GI issues lately and with no real answers (despite many tests and medications) I’ve done a lot of my own research and it was such a coincidence Grace posted about your battle. Keep up the fight and the blog (it’s great!).

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