Unfortunately, two days after I was done with the antibiotics my stomach started to feel wrong again and the abscess was hardening instead of getting smaller. I was apprehensive. The next morning, I woke up with a fever of 102.7 and knew whatever perpetrated my initial symptoms had not been conquered. I was stubborn, again, and waited several days before going back to the ER. This ER visit was exactly the same as the first one, except for they weren’t as busy and I got straight into a room of my own. It helped that my doctor was very attractive. I doubt she’s interested in a cancer patient though.
Also, the CAT scan results were way different. They could actually tell what was going on this time. I kind of wish they hadn’t though.
I remember it so vividly…or at least I feel like I do. I was sitting in the ER with my mom and sister when the doctors came in, and, matter-of-factly, told me that they were in consensus that I had colon cancer. They wanted to do a colonoscopy to be sure. I’m sorry, what? I just turned 29. That’s not supposed to happen. I eat healthy and workout, what are you talking about lady? Well, that’s how it went in my head. Outwardly, I just smiled and nodded. I don’t think anyone can really be ready to be told that they have cancer. There’s no chance it’s not at least somewhat of a surprise. Honestly though, I really appreciated the truthful and straightforward nature of the doctors. In hindsight I guess there’s not really a way to sugarcoat a cancer diagnosis. But, as you can imagine, it wasn’t the best news to hear.
Somehow, I was more relieved than scared. After all of the UC research I did, I was so happy that it wasn’t that. Kudos to all of those that manage UC by the way. I can’t imagine dealing with that on a daily basis. Also, I was sure that they had caught the cancer early, because, how could they not have? I figured I would have the growth removed and not even have to have chemo and be good to go back to my life in a couple of months. I’m pretty good at wishful thinking.
Strangely enough, I felt worse for my mom, sister, and the rest of my family than I did myself. I could feel the air leave the room when the doctor told us. Even though my mom had a sneaking suspicion from the very beginning, I’m sure she desperately wanted to be wrong.